I just saw Anything Goes and it was totally amazing!

Before I saw the play, I was canting at church. For the Psalm, I was supposed to sing verses 1, 3, and 4. Everything was fine until I went to the next page during verse 3 and accidentally sang part of verse 2. After I finished, I realized what I had sung:

". . .I confessed my weight unto you. . ."

Whoops. . .

This Christmas was totally awesome! Despite my "newbie" status as a cantor at church, I got to be the cantor for 11:15 Mass on Christmas Day! Unfortunately it's one of the weirdest experiences I've ever . . . experienced. The whole time, I feel as if I'm being watched. Of course, people watch me during songs, especially the Psalm, but I can't shake the feeling that I am being monitored constantly. It's a very strange sensation. After church is over, everything is just a big blur. And I'm really embarrassed because several people told me they couldn't hear me well enough and now I feel like I wasted everyone's time. No wonder performers seem so nutty!

I was playing Balderdash (The Hilarious Bluffing Game!) the other day and came across some very interesting words:

A graip is "a pitchfork used for hurling manure". Not to be confused with the fruit.

A yeevil is a "fork used for pitching dung". Not to be confused with what lives in your flour.

Attaballes (pronounced "AT-uh-ballz") are kettle drums. I only hope that the next drummer who hears this term realizes that it is not some sort of compliment.

You know that joke about the cruel person who put an "s" in the word lisp? It turns out that "the inability to pronounce one's "r's" " is called a wharl. The definition is also kinda mean to people using a keyboard. ("' " '' ")

I'm glad you guys liked the BBQ sauce. Would the "HOT" version have been too risque?

With love and smiles and marshmallow bunny rabbits,

Carol

The big one-seven this Thursday!!!

           I don't have much time to watch movies (My brother controls what we watch, and he's a guy, so we watch sports. Because he's male. And that's what real men do. They plop their masculine butts down on the couch, in a very manly manner, and watch the sports like real men. And, like all masculine men, they scream like women when they witness a touchdown. They also scream when they don't see it and are yelling around trying to get someone to tell them what just happened, but they are unfortunately surrounded by more men, who can't communicate because they are not female.)

If you had the heart to read through the above, you probably noticed copious cliches, which is what I had intended to discuss before my Dave Barry gene took control of my brain. OK, so I don't watch many movies, but the ones I do sit through drive me nuts with cliches. And some of them aren't exactly cliche, but are obviously failed attempts to be profound, which happen in many movies.

For example, right now my sister loves the movie Titanic ("the part where they fall in love, not the sad part"). I cringe as the excessive character cliches distract from the movie itself. It had great potential, and it's really sweet, but they done overdid it. [That was the redneck gene.] Think back to the part where DiCaprio holds Winslet at the front of the ship and they're all happy and stuff. He starts randomly singing into her ear (awkward) and the song returns near the end of the movie, when Rose sings it to herself (because she doesn't realize that not floating on pieces of the boat results in frozenness of boyfriend, who can no longer hear very well). The song doesn't fit the first time; it's just there to impact the audience when Rose sings it. But it fails.

Titanic is also guilty of:

• Spontaneous, inspiring, youthful male who says and does all the right things
• A beautiful, proper young girl who feels trapped inside her world
• Strict mother with narrow mind and no acceptance gene
• Really cheesy dialogue

Cliche situations also irritate me:

• Person must answer X number of questions to win something on radio, or save their lives or something. Final question stumps person, who trips or asks a question or grunts, and that happens to be the correct answer. Cute, sometimes clever, but highly overused.
• Girl's best friend is male, and the male is infatuated with the girl, but she doesn't know it. Girl confides to male the name of her crush, best friend is devastated. All works out in the end.
• Man at party without girlfriend is kissed by different girl, doesn't really kiss back. Girlfriend walks in. Man bumbles, mumbles and for some reason can't at all explain what happened.
• [variation of above] Something bad happens, person is wrongfully blamed, person tries to explain the truth in really general, inneffective terms. Everything stinks till the end, when most is forgiven. (e.g. Miss Congeniality: Gracie tries to tell them that the FBI should still monitor the pageant. "She threatened me!" says Grace to the head of the team. If she had said "She treatened to kill me!", they may have believed her.)  
• Difficult circumstances throughout whole movie, everything works out in the end, but it isn't actually the end and someone dies. Sometimes the "everything works out in the end" leaves the woman pregnant with the now-dead guy's child, a bittersweet relic of that short time when everything worked out. (e.g. Cold Mountain)
• Twins swap places and get busted. Or one person pretends to be two people and gets busted.
• Undercover agent dressed as a girl falls in love with woman. It's really awkward when identities are revealed. Hurtful words are exchanged. They get back together. (e.g. Suite Life, Big Momma's House, White Chicks) Variation: The plot of Never Been Kissed.
• President's daughter desperately wants freedom, gets in trouble when photographs are published in newspaper or viewed on news or given to President. Falls in love with guy who is actually member of Secret Service. Girl is hurt, but gets back together with guy in end. (e.g. Chasing Liberty, First Daughter)

I'm not so sure I made sense. Sorry about that! I just get so riled up, I'm just so darn passionate about it, I should just go take a nap or something.  Later!